"MARA terus mara"

My heart was beating rapidly as I entered the large MARA headquarters in KL. My hands were cold and clammy, and my mouth had run dry. I was also unbearably hungry, because I hadn't eaten breakfast.

It was this morning, at 11 a.m. when I went up to the 16th floor of the MARA building and sat outside the interrogation room, and waited to be interrogated. All the while I was so, so nervous. I don't know why I was so nervous. I wasn't even this nervous during SPM. In fact, I was so anxious since last week. I think it was because I realized that in an interview, I can't mess up like in a written exam. I can't erase what I just said with liquid paper. I can't say "Oops I forgot the answer, can I skip this question and come back later?" and I definitely can't sleep for a while to get inspiration. I wasn't even this worried during debate, because I couldn't care less about debate (I think I kicked ass as third speaker, but we lost, *sob*), but this interview was do or die. Speak up or say goodbye to doing Medicine in UK.

To make things worse, I had to wait for TWO SOLID HOURS. But at least there were a few others in the same place predicament to chat with and share information while waiting.

But at the end, the interview was rather simple and straightforward, nothing technical. They didn't even ask why I wanted to be a doctor! (I was dreading that) They asked what and why I wanted to specialize in (Ear Nose Throat: past illnesses including deaf ear and allergic nose), why I chose UK/Ireland and what are the universities there, what I did in school, what I would do if they would to send me to a local uni, what advantages do I have above the other interviewees, whether I have any sicknesses, (I replied, "Nope, healthy as a horse; fit as a fiddle! [not entirely true]" which was greeted with laughter from the interviewers) and simple things like that. All my anxiety and research about MARA and Medicine and the Health Ministry and whatnots were all not needed.

So, I think I did pretty well. I did my best, I think. So now all I can do is sing Planetshakers' "I Surrender".

All that I am is Yours
All that I have is Yours
I give You my heart and soul
Lord I’m Yours

Lord every day is Yours
Lord every breath is Yours
Giving my life to You
Lord I’m Yours

You alone are worthy of all praise
You alone are worthy of all praise

I surrender all to You
I surrender all to You
I am nothing without You
Jesus Christ take my life
It’s all for You