Dilemmas

Dilemmas... don't we just HATE dilemmas?
Even the Malays have a special way to say it... "ditelan mati emak, diludah mati bapa"... fortunately this has nothing to do with parents...
I remember having a dilemma coming to Banting - to stay or not to stay? But my parents decided to move on to Banting, so here I am - I'm still alive!
Right now, I have a decision to make - it may or may not be a major decision but it still is a dilemma.

During the second week of school in Sekolah Menengah Methodist Telok Datok or known to all as MES, I was elected the class monitor of my class, 5 Newton. I felt so elated, so well-liked among my classmates! And then a few days later they celebrated my birthday in the class, special for the class monitor only. It showed to me how much they accepted me into their circle of friends.
(By the way the people in the pictures here were only the ones who loved to have their picture taken - there were many more who are really good people)

However before I was unanimously voted as class monitor, three of my girl-friends, who were librarians each with high posts in the Board of Librarians of MES, asked me if I wanted to be a librarian because there were openings for new students of every form. At that time, I needed the assurance of KK points (that are so annoyingly important for scholarships and university entrance), so naturally I applied to be a librarian.

Just after about two weeks of duty as librarian, however, the library teacher approached me to inform me that they have a policy stating that students in Form 5 are only allowed to hold one post, so to give a chance to other students to get points. Therefore if I want to be a librarian, I will have to forgo the glamorous post as Ketua Kelas and work as a humble slave in the library.

So there you have it - a decision between being a class monitor or a librarian. Each has its own significant pros and cons, which makes it very difficult to choose:

Librarian
1. The librarian post gives more KK points than Ketua Kelas.
2. Being a librarian gives me the chance to read more books. We are encouraged, or strictly speaking, required, to read books to fulfil the NILAM program, so as a librarian I have unlimited access to these books.
3. As a librarian, I will only have to work one day a week, on any chosen day, from 1pm to 5pm - as opposed to everyday as a class monitor, walking up and down to teacher's offices to collect stuff, to PKHEM's office everyday to collect Pas Keluars and Buku Kawalans (don't bother wondering what these are) and doing the odd jobs like photostating and such menial tasks. It is definitely less tiring.
4. However, on the down side, all librarians have to wear a yellow long-sleeved shirt and black pants. (skirt for girls) This is rather inconvenient, along with the issue of transportation, but it can be done without much complications...

Class Monitor
1. I like the feeling of being the head of something and the respect from students. Well it's not like they actually respect me but I feel so much more acknowledged, you get what I'm saying?
2. I will more or less have more responsibility as a class monitor, which may be a good or bad thing. My mother thinks that this post will help me gain confidence and bla bla bla.
3. Again, my mother thinks that as a class monitor I have more chance to speak up and improve my speaking skills.
4. I feel comfortable where I am, like the way I felt being in Kuching. But I moved in the end - does this mean I have to change again?

Someone once said, "Change is constant". Change happens all the time, and we've got to accept them and grow with it. Do I have to change again? Should I remain as the head of the class where my mind and pride is, or should I change to being a librarian, where my heart is?