Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Something Worth Bloggin About

I am feeling very proud of myself - not because I did something great, not because I achieved a certain goal or dream, not because I was or am particularly successful at anything at all, but because I gathered my courage to face a daunting challenge of a debate audition.

I can still remember last year, when I tried out for the debate team in SMK Batu Lintang. It was 2007, in front of me sat Pn Anita and another teacher of whom I did not know and thus made a complete fool of myself addressing her with the wrong name. From that point on I had no idea what I was doing, just stammered a few sentences and then saw myself out the door to avoid more embarrassment. I even had the nerve to try again a few minutes later but after two sentences I was out again. It was such a devastating time of my Form 4 life.

Samuel: Good morning to Pn Anita and Pn Wong...

Pn Anita: NO, it's Pn (something)! How could you not know your teacher's name?

Samuel: (stammering) Oh, umm, aaah, Good morning to Pn Anita and, aaah, Pn (something). Today I will talk about "Experience more important than qualifications."
(I think it was something like that)
... But I don't agree with the topic!
(I said this to try to lighten up the mood, but to my own embarrassment)

Pn Anita: Well you have no choice, the topic was given to you!

Samuel: Ok. Now, experience is more important than qualifications. Look at Bill Gates. He dropped out of school when he was 16...

Pn Anita: NO, he dropped out at 17. You have to know things like this.

Samuel: Oh, okay. So he was more successful although he didn't go to school...

(From here, I did not know what to say, so I just mumbled a quick "thank you" and exited.)

(Second attempt)

Samuel: A very good morning to Pn Anita and Pn (something). Today I shall talk about the topic "Internet does more harm than good".
Look at the world today. Information technology like Internet has been so useful to man, from communication to study and etc.

Joyce Ting
(A Form 5 girl of whom I admired for her startling eloquence but made me miserable for this one time just because she was one of the facilitators, being an experienced debater and all): P.O.I., how about things like porn and Internet scandals?

Samuel: Exactly my point! Internet may be useful but... but... it has lots of harms...

Joyce: Oops, forgot the topic I gave to you.. teehee!

Samuel: Oh, umm, so... umm... Thank you...
(Now I ran away properly, but not before hearing Pn Anita said, "What a cute boy. Pity though". If there's any feeling in the world, it's called EMBARRASSMENT!!)

I thought I would never do it ever again. But this year, despite the embarrassing experience of Form 4, I was persuaded by my friend Daniel Choon from GFS Banting (any resemblance to Daniel Chong from Kuching? They are both kind of gay, by the way... haha!) to try out for this year's MES debate team, yesterday. But this time I was a lot more relaxed and did not have a "must-do-well-must-do-well-must-do-well" attitude which I think I had when auditioning last year back in Kuching. (Can you believe it? Competition is NEXT WEEK and they only have audition one week before!! Terrible...) And because I was a lot more relaxed and not so tense like last year, I delivered a smooth speech against the motion "A degree is a passport to success" (How odd that the topic was rather similar to last year's audition topic! The second topic last year is also same like one of the three optional topics yesterday about 1. lengthening school hours 2. Degree passport to success and 3. Information technology does more harm than good) I think I did quite a good job, with an added comfort that I had a few friends there with me to support me.

So, I must say I am so very proud of myself for facing my giants. Being here in a new place kind of gives me a confidence to speak out. I am quite a different person, I must say. If you were to say that Samuel Kana in SMK Batu Lintang is in the debate team, I would not believe you... but ... did you hear that? I am in the debate team!!
SAMUEL IS IN THE DEBATE TEAM!! I WAS SELECTED, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!! Actually it's not too hard to believe since most people here don't speak much English anyway. =x
But I am so very proud of myself!! I'm sure you would to if you were in my shoes.

Unfortunately, this is where the blissfulness ends. The rest will be hard work and the frightening competition next week... aaagghhh!!

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