I Failed

On Friday, my Sejarah teacher Pn Umadevi, of whom I respect very much because she is one of the only teachers in MES who actually put in any effort to teach, said something that really bruised my pride.

You see, I, as the Ketu Kelas, am in charge of things like carrying books to and fro the class and staffroom. So, Pn Umadevi entrusted to me the task to bring Sejarah latihan books to class, to count and return them to her after class (we were not allowed to bring home). However, it was found a few days ago that three books were missing. One was returned a week later by my friend, the other two missing.

So on Friday she called me to her desk to speak to me. She told me she was disappointed with the class because she trusted us, and she was disappointed in me for not doing my task well. She said, "You failed as a Ketua Kelas lah," and other things. Ouch.

But later she kind of made amends when she told the whole class the whole story. She said (to the class), "I don't blame Samuel also because he trusted you all like I did. But now the responsibility is upon me as well as Samuel..."

But in a way I may have failed. I did count the last time, but there was many many times before last week when we also used the books but she did not mention to count the books so I did not. I do not know if it is my fault, but right now I am kind of to blame. If the two books are not found by this coming Friday I will have to fork out money from the class fund to try to find the latihan book in bookstores.

So, if you are reading this and you are from my class and you took the books, please return them, anonymously if you wish.
Thanks.

The Pearl

In John Steinback's novel, "The Pearl" (which I find very irritating because Kino and Juana didn't make good use of their freaking luck) on page 41, line 14:

"For every man in the world functions to the best of his ability, and no one does less than his best, no matter what he might think about it. Quite apart from any reward they might get, from any word of praise, from any promotion, a pearl buyer was a pearl buyer, and the best and happiest pearl buyer was he who bought for the lowest prices."

And it was the pearl buyers who made Kino and Juana's lives miserable. I think they are the most evil people in the novel. If they had not tried to cheat Kino, all would have been well. But noooooo ...

Anyway, what I'm trying to bring across is John Steinback's idea that everyone does his best even though he or she feels it was not the best. But since we are all different, so our abilities are different, thus our "best" is different. For some people, their best is to pass their exams, but for others their best is THE best. Parents who believe in this idea will not cause too much stress on their children because they believe the children are doing their best, but parents who don't believe in this ideal will feel their children need to do more, work harder to attain greater heights.

I think my parents fall in the latter category. But that's fine, I have lots of white hair already, I don't think they'll multiply. No auxin and growth hormones there, just a shortage of melanin and whatnot due to undue stress.....

Matriculations

I have sent in my application for the Matriculations Program online. (the government very technology-savvy oh? But donno why their server so darn slow...)



As you can see I put my choices for the Matrics centers in West Malaysia. I would have most liked to go to Labuan's Matriculation Center to continue the legacy of all the Lis kids stepping foot in Kolej Matrikulasi Labuan - but no, it would be too far... *sigh* So which one will it be - Melaka, Negeri Sembilan or Perak? I hope Melaka but N.9 is the nearest so... wherever God (or more like the government people) wants to put me I'll go. However it's not exactly my first option lah, I hope to be able to go there for fun like my sis Hosanna because getting MARA/JPA scholarship....!!

Anyway it's still quite far in the future, I shall concentrate on the NOW for now... and study study study...

New Wimbledon Champion

Oh gawd. Roger Federer has lost to Rafael Nadal in Wimbledon 2008 after five consecutive years of ruling the grass courts.



The score was 6-4 6-4 6-7 6-7 9-7. King of Grass has lost to King of Clay. When I went online early this morning to see the results, my heart fell to the ground with a plop. I had expected Roger Federer to win hands down. But no, Rafael Nadal played the best shots at the most important points. I went to school this morning disheartened and lifeless.

But when I watched the replay this afternoon, I began to think differently. I saw how both Nadal and Federer played theirs hearts and souls out. They both looked tired, but their spirit not withering. They had a I'm-about-to-cry look, Federer actually worried for the first time on grass. Well it had been five years.



First there were service breaks. Then two tie breaks. Then rain breaks. And finally... heartbreak for Roger Federer, still world number one, but just hanging on by his teeth.



When I watched the final two or three hours of the match until the end of the television broadcast, I could feel the intense joy of Rafael Nadal when he flopped to the ground in exhausting excitement. Then he goes running around hugging people, with a flag and later with a golden trophy in his muscular hands. What a sight.



I am sad for Federer - he was so close to winning his record sixth Wimbledon title!! But I think it's good for him - it keeps his nose level with his head, otherwise he may turn out to be like Justine Henin who felt she was too successful already. We'll see more of Federer, for sure. I hope he does well at Beijing Olympics 2008!

But when I see Nadal, I begin to realize how much the joy of earning something from hard work and sheer determination is. I think watching it has motivated me to work hard for my exams, to do all I can do get my results slip and have the smile and joy comparable to winning Wimbledon. Wow.

...And I think that means more time in the books than in the blog, right? I'm getting there...

[Pictures from wimbledon.org]

The Best of Both Worlds

My friend, Hoi Yen or called Ai-Ran by most, said something that made me realize how privileged I am. During Sejarah lesson, we were learning about the Perlembagaan (constitution) of Malaysia that states that we as Bumiputeras have special rights in economy, education and things like that, this having been agreed with by the past non-Bumi leaders to exchange with the rights to citizenship.

My friend said that I am very lucky because I have both religious freedom (unlike Malays) and special rights as an Iban (unlike Chinese and Indians). I can have any religion I want as well as enjoy benefits like banking, business, scholarships and such things.

However many of my race's people take this for granted, and so we see so many who have a lackadasical attitude towards their future. Most do not bother too much about their studies. But the Chinese and Indians are a different matter. They are competitive, hardworking, smart on their feet - they need to be, because our Constitution is made in such and such a way.

As for me, I have a bit of both! Chinese mentality, Iban privileges - I'll have to work hard to make good use of them!

Left-Hand-ism

I just realized, that most of my bestest best friends... are left-handed. That's so freaky, right??

There's Jeremy Lim, Ryner Lai, Ong Lik Pin, Matthew Lee, Tejhpal Singh... what am I, left hand magnet?! Anyone else left-handed I forgot? Maybe I only click with left hands. To complement my right hand. Haha. Or I gravitate to them, the lefties with more right-brained-ness and artistic-ness?

But of course many of my friends are also right handed, it just seems that many close ones are left-handed. Aren't left-handed people abit more rare? I have found rare peoppplleeeeeeeeandIamfeelingsoboriiing(yesboringnotbored)

goodbye.

Reuse Reduce Recycle!!

Today my mom and I took recycling to a whole new meaning - for us anyway. We cut up a 2007 calendar with really nice pictures and put them on a cardboard and wrapped with plastic, all recycled!!

Remember my monumental moment? Well there were so many little rubbish left behind, and my mom had the grand idea to save them for future use...



First I had to cut up all the calendars. Then paste them on the cardboard box. And cut them out. So darn hard to cut you know!!





The plastic was wrinkled and impossible to handle - then some of my sister's friends who are bunking in for the weeekend had a brainstorm and suggested we pull and stretch it to smoothen it out. Genius!! (Of course, they from MARA college ba, all super geniuses with straight A1's... hehe!)






The end result:





So there you have it, we have done our bit for the environment! XD And made some nice posters to decorate our home and remind us about Bible verses. Ah, talk about killing three birds with one simple stone!!

The Bible says....

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

2 Corinthians 2:5-7
If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Romans 13:1-3
Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you.

Hebrews 13:17
Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

1 Peter 2:13-14, 18-20
Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.
Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.

[New International Version; emphases mine]

The Bible clearly says we must forgive others, even if they do terrible wrongs against you. Even if we have every right to cut their heads off, we still have to forgive them, because... because we have been so graciously forgiven even as sinners!! And we must obey authority, even is they are mean, harsh, unjust - God sees, God knows - that's all that matters. Things may seem unfair but God is pure justice, and He knows best!!

Thanks Ryner Lai

I Have Been Violated!!

[This was written on the 1st of July 2008, a fateful Tuesday during which my face boiled with shame and anger at the evil deeds of a certain man... these were the thoughts rushing through my head and later my beloved g-soft pen...]


So many expletives are fighting to find their way out of my mouth and hands, but oh I will keep them for another day for I would most rather like to keep my cuss level to the minimum. But oh the agony and the shameful hurt of my ego and my ass!!

You see, this morning I have been mercilessly and inhumanly violated of my rights as a student and as a child. By who? The infamous discipline teacher, Mr. Super-Ladies'-Lingerie! (I must refrain from speaking his utterly disgraceful name to avoid being disgraced myself and inflict further torture upon my being) Here is what happened:

I was happily walking to the school canteen during recess when I saw my friend Tejhpal Singh standing at the side. So, naturally I went up to him and greeted him. Then suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw THE MAN walking to me, and before I could jump away, he performed an acrobatic stunt and swiped his long cane across my butt. Whack goes the cane. First I was stunned. Then... "DON'T DISTURB PREFECT!" and he walked off. I was jumping about holding my ass, and then I saw my other friends looking at me sympathetically. I had never felt so much hatred. Almost. Well, well, I've done my fair share of hating.

Tell, me, WHY am I not allowed to speak to my friend, a fellow student? What could possibly happen that may distract him so much that a fight ensues? Have I no right to speak to a friend? Where is the kebebasan bersuara in this school?
And why in front of the whole canteen? With friends and strangers witnessing the spectacular leap of evil bruising my already deflated ego?

Agh, I know my ass is very nice to hit, but why couldn't that... that... paedophile control himself?! By golly, my friends, eyewitnesses and all, told me that his face was glowing with the (usual) look of evil contempt, a fearsome expression of sinister satisfaction! I tell you, he's a murderer or a Anwar stand-in in the the making! (I also heard rumours that he apparently cheated his colleagues of money in a tuition business!! And reference to the troubled former deputy PM is only figurative. I am convinced that the latter is innocent. So there.)


But oh, I must not let this affect me. Noooo. I have to forgive and forget... So, I hereby declare that I shall forgive. And forget.

Yeah right.